The Nice Smelling Guy

Hot lookin' deodorant

Once upon a time there was a guy who worked day and night making deodorant. Day in and day out he made deodorant in a factory and would be so sweaty because the place he worked in didn’t believe in air conditioning.  One day, he was so tired and so sweaty from working that he fell asleep in the assembly line and got caught in the machine and ended up smelling like deodorant for the rest of his life. Now he smells good and everyone likes to be around him. The moral of the story is if you are sleepy and sweaty, just put on deodorant and your life will become better! The end!

Miley the Pudding Spoon

Story characters

Once upon a time, there was a spoon named Miley, who wanted to eat a bowl of frito pie.  Miley was a sad, little spoon because she was made for pudding cups.  Miley was told by her mom that size didn’t matter, but in the great state of Texas, size does matter!  So Miley decided to do the best thing possible, move out of Texas.  She packed her pudding cups away and went to the great state of California in silicone valley, where they do plastic surgery on EVERYONE and EVERYTHING!  Miley got to go from an A spoon to a DD ladle.  She then moved back to Texas, where everyone judged her new figure, but still loved her and fed her frito pies!  The moral of the story is, its okay to get plastic surgery, the end.

Lari and Baylee’s Banana Phone

the confrontation...

Once upon a time there were these 2 ice cream cones named Lari and Baylee walking down the beach holding their banana phones that cost a $1000 monopoly dollars because of how crazy the fad was in this candyland world.  One day a mean oreo stuffed cookie named Burtha, came along and begged Lari if she could use her phone because she was in a sticky situation.  Burtha turned out to be a mean ghetto cookie and stole Lari and Baylee’s banana phones, and had evil hench oreos that beat up and stole their expensive banana phones.  But because Lari and Baylee were so awesome and so strong, they were able to defend themselves and not get crushed by the evil pack of oreo stuffed cookies.  The moral of this story is to never let oreo stuffed cookies touch your banana phones.  The end.

Tiffany the Granola Bar

Once upon time there was a granola bar named Tiffany being sold in Fole Whoods. Tiffany had come in a box with 11 siblings and was sold for a retail price of $10.99. One day a thief came into the store and stole Tiffany away from her family and smushed her inside his pocket. Tiffany became handicapped and was quite sad that her life had made this unfortunate turn of events. Because she was deformed, she would often have a hard time mingling with the other healthy snacks in the neighborhood due to the fact that she wasn’t as beautiful looking as many others. A couple weeks later, she was found by a 2nd grader on the playground and was eaten and loved. The moral of the story is, even after a few weeks, organic healthy food is still good to eat, even if it looks kinda dirty and funky! The end.

Fido the King

Once upon a time there was a tuna fish and a salmon fish, and they had a baby named Fido. Fido was a cute fish who everyone adored but because everyone adored him, he was extremely spoiled. Because he was so spoiled, he did whatever he wanted, and eventually he turned into a fish kingpin and ruled the sea similar to Poseidon in Greek mythology. Eventually he found some female fish and had lots of sardine kids and they all lived happily ever after under the sea, the end!

Molly the Toothbrush

Once upon a time there was a toothbrush names Molly. Molly was a toothbrush for a granny named Agatha. One day Molly accidentally fell into an ant pile and Agatha lost her favorite toothbrush and was quite sad. Because she was so old and so sad she would not go outside to buy a new toothbrush and died of loneliness because she wouldn’t talk to people without Molly. Eventually the ant pile ate the toothbrush and made it it’s new queen because they loved how well Molly could clean. This should warn you to be more careful about losing your toothbrush.

Billy the Surgical Glove

Once upon a time there was a prostate examination surgical glove called Billy. Billy led quite an exciting life and would go into surgery after surgery. But one day he got into some bad habits like hanging with bad people like Rob the scalpel, Eric the anesthesia, and Will the surgery mask. One day they convinced Billy to get a naughty piercing somewhere and because Billy was made of latex he couldn’t sustain his life and slowly bled to death and his friends laughed as he conducted his surgeries painfully. It was quite sad tune in next week to hear about Billy’s will!

Henry the Burrito from Chipotle

One time there was a burrito named Henry. And Henry was a beautiful burrito from chipotle. One day he got into some trouble with the Russian mafia who then poured some vodka into the burrito and made it all soggy. It was so unedible and filled with alcohol that it died and no one ate him. This is why you don’t drink and eat burritos at the same time.

Larry the Bum Bird

Once upon a time there was a bird named Larry. Now Larry was a bum bird who just wanted to party so he would go to bird nests and get drunk on bird seeds. One day Larry hooked up with this hottie dove named Tina. Tina was a bad bird who would go out and start fights with other birds and squirrels. But Larry fell in love with her and wanted to have bird babies with her. One day after they had made love Tina confessed to Larry that she had Parkinson’s disease and then Larry had to raise the baby on his own. It was extremely sad and once Tina died the baby egg hatched and Larry became a single father. This is why you don’t meet random birds and hook up with them at parties. The end.

The short life of Napkin Dispenser

My very first story ever written.

One time Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper had a baby called Napkin Dispenser. When Napkin Dispenser grew up it decided it wanted to be an environmentalist like the people in Greenpeace because it was tired of people cutting down trees. Then Napkin Dispenser died and Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper were very sad. The end.